Difficult Conversations
Document document document…
We have all heard those three words, but are we actually documenting our difficult conversations? We have all been there as leaders. We gear up for a conversation, create our agenda, and practice what we want to say and how we want to say it, but we often forget the essential part of the discussion - the documentation. When we don't document the conversation, it is easy to forget what was decided upon and follow up is often neglected.
As you plan for a difficult conversation, think about these three steps: plan your agenda, document the conversation, create a follow-up plan. Without all three of these elements the conversation will not be effective.
Planning your agenda: bullet point how you will start the conversation so that you can set the tone early on. My go-to phrase to begin a difficult conversation is easy, this is going to be a difficult conversion. Have the topics you want to cover listed out in your notes so you stay on track and not leave anything out.
Documentation: If you don't document the conversation, it didn't happen. Use your bulleted agenda as a starting point for your notes. It's okay to take a pause during the meeting so that you can take notes.
Create a follow up plan: during the meeting agree on your action steps. Document these and send a follow-up email that outlines what was discussed and your agreed upon plan to follow up.
Follow up: do what you say you are going to do. All of the steps of this process are important, but without follow up you are going to be stuck on the hamster wheel where the issue comes up again and again.
Difficult conversations aren't fun, but they can be the most important thing you do to develop your team. If you avoid having clear conversations, you aren't doing your job as a leader - and someone may need to have a difficult conversation with you!
Carlie Lockwood, CHRO
